A Purpose-Driven Life: Men's Search for Meaning in a Chaotic World
- Mark Pitcher
- Nov 24
- 29 min read
On a cold evening in Toronto, a 45-year-old father sits in traffic after yet another failed job interview, wondering why he feels so lost. Across the country in Vancouver, a university student stares at the ceiling of his dorm room, asking himself what the point of all his hard work is. In retirement, a widower in Halifax wakes up to quiet mornings and asks, "What now? What gives my life meaning?" These scenes play out against a backdrop of rapid change and uncertainty – global pandemics, economic upheavals, and social shifts that have upended familiar signposts. It is no surprise that many men, young and old, find themselves asking big questions about purpose. They are not alone. In Canada, men represented 75% of all suicide deaths in 2020 – a sobering reflection of how many struggle in silence (Statistics Canada, 2023). Experts note that loneliness and a lack of fulfilling connections often fuel men's depression and despair (Canadian Mental Health Association, n.d.), underscoring that this "crisis of meaning" has life-and-death implications.
Admitting to feeling adrift or empty is not easy. Many men are conditioned from an early age to "man up," focus on tangible goals, and bury vulnerable feelings. Chasing careers, providing for family, or conforming to society's expectations can become a treadmill devoid of deeper fulfillment. Traditional male roles have shifted in the modern era: once-stable career ladders have wobbled, communities have become more fragmented, and clear rites of passage into valued social roles are harder to find. When personal crises hit – losing a loved one, getting laid off, or a sudden health scare – they can shatter one's framework overnight, leaving a void where purpose once was. Admittedly, nearly 80% of Canadian employees report feeling disengaged in the workplace (Gallup, 2025), and barely more than half of Canadian men say the things they do in life are "worthwhile" (Statistics Canada, 2022). These statistics drive home the feeling that a lack of meaning is not a personal failing but a widespread reality in our fast-paced, chaotic world.
The good news is that confronting the "why" questions can be the start of a profound transformation. Acknowledging the inner void is an essential first step—one that takes courage, not weakness. Psychologist Viktor Frankl, who endured the horrors of Auschwitz, observed that humans need meaning to survive and thrive. He famously wrote that "those who have a 'why' to live can bear almost any 'how'" (Frankl, 2006). In other words, if we have a reason why we are enduring hardship, we can find the strength to persevere through how hard life gets. Finding purpose is crucial to resilience and well-being. This article will explore how men can cultivate a sense of meaning – even amid chaos – to guide their lives and bolster their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. In the pages that follow, we delve into why meaning matters, where it comes from, and practical steps to discover (or rediscover) purpose. The journey toward a purpose-driven life is deeply personal yet profoundly universal. By seeking an answer to "Why do I live?", men often find a compass that not only guides them through storms but also gives each day new richness and direction.
The Chaos and the Void
Modern life, for all its conveniences and opportunities, often leaves men grappling with an unsettling sense of emptiness. On the surface, one might have a job, family, and social media feeds full of highlight reels. Yet beneath the surface, many feel as if they are running on a treadmill with no destination. The traditional guideposts that once offered structure and meaning – a lifelong career, a defined role as provider or protector – have largely eroded or become more fluid. Careers now zigzag; personal relationships are in flux. The hustle of daily routine can start to feel like sound and fury, signifying nothing. Without a clear link between our actions and a deeper purpose, life can seem like a series of chores rather than a coherent journey (Heine et al., 2006).
Men are often reluctant to voice this hollowness. Social expectations of stoicism can create an inner isolation: one may outwardly project confidence while internally thinking, "Is this all there is?" The void tends to widen during personal crises. A man who is laid off after decades of hard work might question who he is without his job title. A divorce or the death of a loved one can upend the narrative that gave his life structure, leaving him staring into the abyss of meaninglessness. These moments can be profoundly disorienting. Existential psychologists note that a loss of meaning can feel like a loss of gravity – nothing to hold onto, no direction forward (Längle, 2003).
Beyond personal trials, broader societal upheavals contribute to the chaos. The COVID-19 pandemic, for example, disrupted routines and stripped away many sources of identity and community. When the world is in flux, it magnifies that internal sense of uncertainty. One might compare it to "drifting at sea without a compass," a sensation reported by many men who suddenly find themselves without a clear role or goal. Indeed, research shows a sharp rise in people feeling disengaged or purposeless in recent years. Gallup's analysis found that only 21% of Canadian employees are engaged at work, with the rest "not engaged" or actively disengaged (Gallup, 2025). That means the vast majority are essentially uninvested in what they do all day—a recipe for spiritual malaise. Little wonder that men's mental health suffers: emptiness and lack of direction can manifest as depression, anxiety, or destructive behaviours used to fill the void.
Importantly, recognizing the void is not a sign of defeat – it can be the beginning of a meaningful quest. In existential therapy, confronting the seeming meaninglessness of life is actually a gateway to growth (Yalom, 1980). One must first face the chaos and admit that something vital is missing. This honest reckoning can spark a search for new meaning. Men who step off the treadmill of mere busyness and dare to ask "What truly matters to me?" are taking a courageous leap. The chaos, then, is not just an ending but also an opening. As the old structures crumble, there is space to build something new and more authentic. As one man who joined a community men's circle after years of isolation described it, "I realized I wasn't the only one feeling this way – and that gave me hope I could change." The void, once acknowledged, becomes a canvas on which to craft a more purposeful life.
Why Meaning Matters
Seeking meaning in life is far from an abstract luxury – it is a core human need, one that profoundly affects our well-being. Psychological research has repeatedly found that having a sense of purpose acts as a kind of psychological immune system, protecting us against life's slings and arrows (Heine et al., 2006). People with a clear meaning in life tend to experience better mental health, greater resilience, and even physical health benefits. In one remarkable long-term study, individuals who reported a strong life purpose had a significantly lower risk of mortality in the years that followed than those who felt aimless (Hill and Turiano, 2014). Even when controlling for factors like age, gender, and health status, the purposeful folks lived longer – suggesting that knowing why you wake up in the morning might actually help you live longer. A report from the Stanford Center on Longevity echoed this, noting that older adults with a defined sense of purpose enjoy better health outcomes and longevity (Stanford Center on Longevity, n.d.). Indeed, the scientific study of well-being has identified a sense of life meaning as a core component of psychological health (King and Hicks, 2021). Purpose, quite literally, can add years to your life.
The mental and emotional benefits are equally compelling. Having meaning is associated with lower rates of depression and anxiety, and greater life satisfaction (He et al., 2023). A recent meta-analysis of dozens of studies concluded that the more people feel their lives have meaning, the less psychological distress they tend to experience (He et al., 2023). In fact, a Canadian study found that men with higher meaning in life had lower psychological distress—partly by increasing resilience and reducing loneliness (Brown et al., 2023). In other words, purpose serves as an emotional anchor: it helps men recover from setbacks by giving their suffering context. If you know why you are enduring something – for your children's future, to achieve a cherished goal, to uphold a core value – you can withstand far more than you imagined. This reflects Viktor Frankl's insight from surviving the concentration camps: men who saw meaning in their suffering (such as the hope of reuniting with loved ones or bearing witness to injustice) were more likely to survive the unbearable (Frankl, 2006). Meaning can transform suffering into strength and despair into hope.
On a day-to-day level, purpose guides our choices and fuels our motivation. It is much easier to get out of bed in the morning when you feel your day's efforts will contribute to something that matters. A man who believes his work truly helps others or builds a better world will approach Monday morning differently than one who sees his job as just punching the clock. Burnout often arises not simply from working hard, but from working without meaning – when tasks feel pointless, the soul rebels. Conversely, if you find meaning in your daily activities, they energize rather than exhaust you. As one therapist put it, "purpose is the antidote to burnout," turning labour into love.
Meaning also provides a stable compass during life's storms. When everything around you is changing – you lose your job, move cities, face a global crisis – a sense of purpose is the inner North Star that keeps you oriented. It tells you what is important and why your life is worth living, even when specific plans fall apart. Without it, people are more prone to nihilism or drifting into harmful escapism. With it, they exhibit what psychologists call "adaptive resilience," coping better and finding new pathways forward (Tedeschi and Calhoun, 2004).
Simply put, meaning matters because it gives us a reason to live, to persist, and to care. As the eminent psychologist Martin Seligman noted, meaning is one of the pillars of authentic happiness – it involves belonging to and serving something larger than oneself (Seligman, 2017). It elevates our perspective beyond the day's troubles to see a bigger picture. Life's inevitable pains and challenges become more bearable when they are woven into a story that matters. In the absence of meaning, pain is just pain; with meaning, pain can be a form of growth or a sacrifice for a worthy cause. As Viktor Frankl observed, human beings are not destroyed by suffering alone; they are killed by suffering without meaning (Frankl, 2006). Give a man a why, and he can endure almost any how, which means matters because it is the why.
Sources of Meaning
If meaning is so vital, where do men find it? The truth is, there is no single source – meaning in life is deeply personal, and it can flow from many different wells. Psychologists suggest that life meaning has a few key components – a sense of coherence or understanding of one's life, a guiding purpose or mission, and a feeling of life's significance or value (Martela and Steger, 2016). Different sources of meaning tend to emphasize different components, but all contribute to one's overall sense of a meaningful life. However, common themes emerge when researchers ask people what makes their lives meaningful. An extensive international survey by the Pew Research Center found that one source of meaning is predominant: family and relationships. In 14 of the 17 countries surveyed, more people mentioned their family as a source of meaning in life than any other factor (Silver et al., 2021). Highlighting relationships with partners, children, parents, or friends, men frequently spoke of the love, pride, and sense of responsibility they derive from their family roles. Knowing that you matter to others and that others matter to you can imbue even ordinary moments with significance. A father who comes home exhausted from work may still find meaning in reading a bedtime story to his kids, because in that act, he is living his purpose of caring for his family. The pride and devotion men feel in helping their children grow, supporting a partner, or being a loyal friend can serve as a powerful "why" that drives them through each day.
Work is another primary wellspring of meaning – but not simply working for money. It is the sense of contribution, mastery, or service in one's work that yields meaning. A man doesn't need a grand title to find purpose in his job; a janitor who believes his work keeps the environment safe and healthy can feel as much dignity and meaning as a CEO who is steering a company to improve lives. What matters is the connection between one's labour and a larger impact. Jobs and careers are among the top three sources of meaning for people in most places surveyed by Pew (2021), though the emphasis placed on work varies widely across cultures. Men often take pride in being competent and helpful through their work. For example, a teacher finds meaning in shaping young minds, a craftsman finds purpose in creating something of quality and beauty, and a software developer finds fulfillment in solving problems that help others. The job itself may be less important than how it aligns with one's values and contributes to others. If your daily efforts connect to a purpose beyond a paycheck – protecting people, building community, creating something helpful – work can be a profound source of fulfillment rather than just a grind.
Beyond family and work, service to others frequently lights the way to purpose. Many men discover meaning by devoting time and energy to causes greater than themselves. Volunteering, mentoring, community activism, or simply offering help to those in need can generate a powerful sense of purpose. Serving others shifts the focus away from one's own troubles and channels it into making a positive impact. For instance, a man who volunteers at a local youth center each week might find that this role – being a stable, caring presence for young people who lack support – gives him a deep feeling of significance that was missing in his day job. Knowing that someone else's life is a little better because of you is immensely meaningful. Studies find that helping others not only increases life meaning but can also boost happiness and even physical health (Seligman, 2017). This is one reason many spiritual traditions emphasize charity and compassion – in lifting others, we often lift ourselves.
Personal growth and creativity are other avenues through which men find meaning. Humans have an innate drive to develop our potential and express ourselves. Learning new skills, deepening one's understanding of the world, or engaging in creative pursuits (like art, music, writing, or building something tangible) can all endow life with purpose. A man might spend hours in his workshop, woodworking not just as a hobby, but because crafting something with care gives him a sense of mastery and legacy. Another man might find meaning in pushing his physical limits through sports or outdoor adventures, discovering more about his own strengths and fears with each challenge. Psychologists note that meaning often arises when we see ourselves grow – when today we are a bit wiser, kinder, or more capable than we were yesterday. Striving toward personal excellence or self-actualization is a meaningful journey in itself (Baumeister, 1991). Even if the world doesn't applaud our small victories, the narrative of self-improvement can give our lives structure and purpose.
Many men also draw meaning from faith or spirituality. For some, this comes from organized religion—feeling guided by God, adhering to spiritual teachings, and participating in a faith community. For others, spirituality is more personal or philosophical—a sense of connection to the universe, nature, or humanity that transcends day-to-day concerns. Believing that one's life fits into a larger cosmic picture or divine plan can provide a profound and stable sense of "why." For example, a man who practices Indigenous spiritual traditions or who follows a meditation discipline may find meaning in aligning with those timeless values and serving as a vessel for spiritual truth. Faith and meaning are deeply intertwined for many; as Frankl observed, love and spiritual ideals can carry people through even the darkest times. Ultimately, whether through formal religion or private spirituality, connecting with the sacred or transcendent is a powerful source of meaning for countless men.
It is important to note that sources of meaning can change over time. What drives a man at 25 might not be the same at 55. In youth, purpose often revolves around identity and aspiration—building a career, exploring passions, and finding one's place in the world (Damon, 2008). In midlife, meaning may shift toward nurturing the next generation, contributing to the community, or achieving personal mastery. In later years, many men find profound purpose in mentorship, reflection, and legacy – ensuring that their experiences and love benefit those who follow. There is no single correct source of meaning. Often, a richly meaningful life draws from multiple wells: family, work, service, learning, creativity, and faith can all complement each other to form a "grand narrative of purpose." The common thread is that meaning arises wherever one's values and actions align. As existential analysts put it, meaning is uncovered by living authentically in accord with one's inner truth (Längle et al., 2019). Each man must explore which domains call most strongly to him. The invitation is to reflect: When do I feel most alive? What am I doing in those moments, and why does it matter to me? The answers to those questions point toward the sources of your meaning.
Practical Steps to (Re)Discover Meaning
Understanding the importance of purpose is one thing; finding or rekindling that purpose in your own life is another. The search for meaning is deeply personal, but some practical steps and exercises can guide the journey. Think of it as an inner expedition – you may need to explore new territory, try new practices, and courageously face yourself. Here are some approaches that many men have found helpful in (re)discovering meaning in life:
Journaling and self-reflection: Set aside quiet time to write about or ponder the big questions. For instance, ask yourself: "When do I feel most fulfilled? Which experiences or achievements in my life am I proud of, and why? What values are most important to me?" Writing freely in a journal can uncover patterns and passions that you might otherwise overlook. You could list the activities or moments that make you feel "this is what it's all about" – whether it's playing with your kids, fixing an old motorcycle, cooking for friends, or leading a project at work – and then reflect on why those feel meaningful. Reflection builds self-knowledge, which is crucial for identifying your purpose (Längle et al., 2019). As existential thinkers have noted, developing self-awareness is necessary to unveil meaning – you must know yourself to know what makes life worth living. Try writing a personal "mission statement" for your life, as if you were an organization: What is my mission or calling? Don't worry if it feels grandiose or unclear at first – it can be revised over time. The point is to begin articulating what you find meaningful.
Embrace new experiences: Often, men who feel stuck in a rut of meaninglessness need to step outside their comfort zones. Purpose can hide in unexpected places, revealing itself only when you try something different. Consider taking up that activity or class you have been curious about – perhaps joining a weekend hiking group, signing up for a martial arts course, or learning to play an instrument. Travel, if possible, especially to places or cultures that challenge your usual perspective. New experiences jolt us awake and can ignite passions we didn't know we had. For example, volunteering one evening at a community kitchen might spark a sense of connection and altruism that surprises you – you may discover that you love helping people in this direct way. It gives you a reason to look forward to Wednesdays. Or maybe attending a men's retreat or workshop (even virtually) on mindfulness, leadership, or cultural traditions will open new pathways. Sometimes, meaning is something we discover by doing, not just by thinking. If life feels monotonous and empty, experiment with new activities and note which ones light a fire inside you. As one man shared after volunteering to coach a boys' soccer team, "I never realized how much I needed to be a mentor. It's become the highlight of my week and given me a sense of purpose again."
Connect with others around shared values: Purpose often blossoms in community. Seek out people and groups that care about the things you care about – or the things you might care about, if given a chance. This could be a support group, a faith community, a hobby club, or an activist organization. The key is to find your "tribe," however small, where you can pursue meaning together. For a man feeling spiritually empty, joining a local meditation circle or men's spirituality group might rekindle a sense of belonging to something larger. For someone passionate about social issues, connecting with a volunteer network or advocacy group can turn frustration into purposeful action. Many men find that brotherhood itself is a source of meaning – simply being in a circle of other men, sharing honestly and listening without judgment, can fulfill the yearning to be seen and understood. Modern positive masculinity movements emphasize creating safe spaces for men to support each other's growth, which can powerfully affirm that one's struggles and dreams have meaning in a collective context. You realize, "I am not alone, and together we can help each other become better men." Whether it's a band of workout buddies or a weekly coffee group, nurturing these connections can give daily life a greater sense of purpose and accountability.
Seek guidance and mentorship: If you feel profoundly stuck or uncertain about what gives you meaning, it can help to talk with someone who specializes in these issues. Consider speaking with a therapist, counsellor, or life coach – preferably one who is familiar with existential therapy or purpose-driven coaching. Approaches like logotherapy (developed by Viktor Frankl) are explicitly designed to help people find meaning, even in suffering. A skilled counsellor can ask the right questions and provide exercises to clarify your values and life goals. Similarly, talking with spiritual advisors (such as a pastor, elder, or meditation teacher, depending on your tradition) can guide you toward purpose if faith or spirituality is part of your life. Don't overlook the value of mentors, either. Is there an older friend, relative, or colleague whom you respect? Ask them how they discovered what mattered to them, or what lessons gave their life meaning. Sometimes a simple conversation can illuminate your own path. Remember that you don't have to figure it all out alone. Reaching out for guidance is a sign of commitment to growth, not weakness. As the proverb goes, "When the student is ready, the teacher appears" – being open about your search often attracts people and resources that will aid you.
Set "purpose goals": We are accustomed to setting achievement goals—get the promotion, run the marathon, save up for a house, etc. While those can be motivating, it's equally important to set what might be called purpose goals or values-based goals. These are intentions to perform actions that align with your core values and sense of meaning, regardless of any external reward. For example, you might set a goal to do one act each week that reflects your deepest values: if compassion is a value, your goal could be visiting your elderly neighbor regularly; if creativity is a value, your goal might be to write a page in your journal every night; if family is central, your goal could be dedicating undistracted time each day to play with your child. Purpose goals ensure that no matter how busy life gets, you continuously nourish what matters most. They also build a habit of purposeful living. Over time, these small acts accumulate into a lifestyle imbued with meaning. If you are oriented by purpose goals, even a dull week at work will have bright spots where you live your "why." Some men schedule these intentionally – for example, Meaningful Mondays might be when you volunteer or call a faraway friend, and Focused Fridays might be when you work on a passion project. By treating purpose as something to be actively cultivated, you move from passively hoping life will feel meaningful someday to creating meaning here and now.
In practicing these steps, be patient and compassionate with yourself. The search for purpose is not a one-time treasure hunt but an ongoing evolution. It's okay if your "why" is a bit fuzzy at first or changes with new experiences. Think of it as real-time course correction in the journey of life. Regularly pause and ask, "Is my compass pointing where I want to go? If not, what small adjustment can I make today?" Over weeks and months, those minor adjustments – a new habit here, a courageous conversation there, a leap into something unfamiliar – can lead to profound changes. Many men who once felt aimless find themselves, a year later, amazed at how much more alive and focused they think. The difference was not some external fortune, but the effort they invested in discovering what gives their life meaning. As psychologist Alfried Längle wisely noted, we must actively engage with life to unlock its meaning – it will not simply fall into our lap (Längle, 2003). Fortunately, every man has the capacity to engage, to seek, and to find his purpose, no matter how lost he may feel at the start.
Finding Meaning in Suffering
Life's pain and hardships, while undeniably difficult, can also be catalysts for meaning. This idea might sound paradoxical – who wants to find meaning in suffering? – and yet, some of the most profound sense of purpose in men's lives can emerge from their darkest times. Viktor Frankl, drawing on his own experience in Nazi concentration camps, argued that meaning can be found in all circumstances, even the most miserable (Frankl, 2006). This does not imply we desire suffering or that pain is somehow "good." Instead, it means that when suffering does occur, we have a choice: we can succumb to despair or try to transform our pain into something meaningful.
History and everyday life are full of examples of men who turned their trauma into purpose. Consider a man who loses his teenage son to a drunk-driving accident. In the raw aftermath of grief, he might understandably question whether life has any meaning at all. Yet over time, he may channel that grief into action – founding a local advocacy group against impaired driving, giving talks at schools about his experience, or offering support to other bereaved fathers. Through these efforts, he keeps his son's memory alive and possibly saves other lives. His loss remains painful, but it is now woven into a narrative of meaning: "I couldn't save my son, but maybe I can save someone else's." This is an illustration of what psychologists call posttraumatic growth. In this phenomenon, some individuals, in the aftermath of trauma, develop a stronger sense of purpose, spirituality, or appreciation for life (Tedeschi and Calhoun, 2004). Research suggests that finding meaning in suffering can significantly aid emotional healing and resilience. By assigning a purpose to pain ("I will use this hardship to become a better person or help others"), men often regain a sense of control and dignity that the suffering had threatened to steal.
Finding meaning in suffering is a deeply personal process. It does not mean glossing over pain or denying one's anguish. On the contrary, it may involve fully facing the hurt and asking, "How can this experience shape me or enable me to contribute to the world?" For some, the meaning comes from simple reframing. A man who endures a painful divorce might later reflect that the experience, as hard as it was, taught him greater compassion and pushed him to become a more attentive father – lessons that give his hardship a purpose. For others, meaning arises from concrete action. For example, a veteran who lost comrades in combat may find purpose in volunteering with wounded warriors or campaigning for peace, feeling that "their sacrifice drives me to make a difference." Even in existential matters like facing one's mortality through serious illness, meaning can be a lifeline. Terminally ill patients in Frankl's hospital who could find a reason – such as wanting to leave a legacy or mend family relationships – coped far better with pain and fear (Frankl, 2006).
None of this is to romanticize suffering. It hurts, and often it is unjust. But the human capacity to extract meaning from adversity is one of our most remarkable strengths. It is a testament to the spirit that a man can walk through hell and come out the other side carrying buckets of water for those still consumed by the flames. If you are going through a personal hell, know that your story is not over; you hold the pen, and you can still choose the ending. This might mean deciding that your struggle will not be in vain – that it will mean something in the grand tale of your life. As one survivor put it, "I made a promise that if I survived, I would live the rest of my life with gratitude and help others facing what I faced." That promise became his guiding star.
Whatever wounds you carry – big or small – ask gently if they point toward some purpose. Does your painful shyness enable you to empathize deeply with the lonely, suggesting you could be the person who reaches out to others who feel unseen? Does your experience with mental health struggles give you insight that could benefit someone else in pain, if you choose to share it? Often, the very things that we think disqualify us from a meaningful life – our failures, losses, and scars – qualify us to pursue certain kinds of purpose that are unique to us. A scar can be a symbol of healing and hope, not just injury. In Japanese art, broken pottery is sometimes mended with gold veins (kintsugi), so that the repaired item is more beautiful for having been broken. Similarly, finding meaning in suffering fills the cracks of our hearts with gold. It does not erase the cracks – but it makes of our brokenness something whole and valuable. This is the alchemy of meaning.
Living a Meaningful Life Daily
Cultivating purpose is not a one-time epiphany but a daily practice. Like physical fitness, a sense of meaning grows stronger with regular exercise and reminders. Living a meaningful life daily means keeping your "why" in focus through the ups and downs of routine. Several simple practices can help anchor each day in what matters most:
One powerful habit is morning intention-setting. When you wake up – perhaps as you sip your coffee or tea in a quiet moment – take a brief moment to state your intention or purpose for the day. This could be a specific value you want to embody ("Today I will act with compassion") or a dedication of your efforts to someone or something meaningful ("I dedicate today to providing for my family's well-being"). Some men find strength in a short prayer or meditation that aligns them with their purpose, such as asking, "How can I serve my mission today?" By articulating a daily why, you set a tone for the hours ahead. Even when stress or distractions arise, recalling that intention can re-center you. For example, suppose your purpose statement for the day was about compassion, and you find yourself stuck in traffic, instead of seething. In that case, you might remember your intention and use the time to call a friend who's going through a hard time – thus living your values even in a small way.
Conversely, evening reflection is a meaningful practice to close the day. Before bed, reflect on the day and identify one moment or action that felt meaningful. It could be "I helped my colleague figure out a problem at work and it felt good to contribute," or "I had a genuine conversation with my son at dinner – that was special," or even on a rough day, "I got through it and kept my patience." On difficult days, the meaningful moment might be that you didn't give up or that you reached out for help instead of bottling up. Acknowledging these moments trains your mind to notice meaning and not take it for granted. Some men jot down these reflections in a gratitude or meaning journal. Over time, you create a personal log of purpose—a narrative of days well lived, even when they were tough. This practice also helps in adjusting course: if you realize you went a whole week struggling to pinpoint a meaningful moment, it may signal that you're too caught up in empty busyness and inspire you to make a change.
Surrounding yourself with symbols and reminders of what matters can also keep your purpose front and center. Think of these as visual cues for the soul. For instance, you might place photos of your loved ones on your desk, so when work is taxing, you remember why you're working – to support and love these people. Some men wear items of personal significance: a wristband from a charity they support, a cross or other religious emblem, or even a simple rubber band that snaps them back to their intention whenever they see it. If your goal is to remain mindful of your health and spirit, you might put your running shoes or yoga mat in plain sight as an invitation to honour your body, or keep a beloved book of wisdom on your nightstand to read a page each morning. In many outdoor, nature-based men's organizations, men often use objects from nature – a stone, a feather, a piece of wood – as talismans of the lessons and commitments they gained in that sacred space. In daily life, carrying such a token in your pocket could remind you to "Be true to your purpose" whenever you touch it. The environment we create can either swamp us in distraction or inspire us toward meaning. By choosing meaningful cues, we turn our homes and workplaces into supportive allies in our purposeful lives.
Living meaningfully also means saying "yes" and "no" wisely. When you are clear on your values and purpose, it becomes easier to discern which activities align with them and which detract from them. You might decide to say "no" to an optional work function that doesn't truly matter to you, so you can say "yes" to spending that evening with family or working on your passion project. You might set boundaries around checking email on Sunday because you've dedicated that day to rest and relationships – part of your purposeful living. On the other hand, you may say "yes" to opportunities that scare you a bit but resonate with your core purpose – like speaking at a community event about a cause you care deeply about – because you know growth and impact lie that way. Each choice to prioritize meaning strengthens your sense of living on purpose rather than by accident. Over time, others may notice a change. They might see that you are more focused, more passionate, perhaps even more serene amid chaos. This is the outward ripple of an inward transformation: by aligning your daily life with your purpose, you inspire those around you to consider what gives their lives meaning as well.
Finally, practice self-compassion and flexibility in living a meaningful life. No one is purposeful 100% of the time. You will have days where you get caught up in trivialities or feel lazy or discouraged – that's okay. Forgive yourself, and gently steer back tomorrow. Purpose is like a guiding star: you aim for it, but you don't have to hit it perfectly every time to stay on course. Some days, simply carrying on through difficulties is an act of meaning in itself, demonstrating commitment to your why. Remember that a meaningful life is not a problem to be solved, but a story to be lived. If today's chapter wasn't great, you can write a better one tomorrow. If you stay true to your North Star more often than not, you are already living a purpose-driven life daily. In the end, living with meaning isn't about grand gestures or constant intensity; it's about integrating your deepest values into the fabric of your everyday existence. It is the difference between existing and truly living. As a man who found his footing after years of drifting put it, "Now, every day I wake up and I know what I'm about. There's a peace in that, even when things go wrong." That peace is available to all who commit to living life on purpose, one day at a time.
Conclusion
In a chaotic world that often feels beyond our control, choosing to live a purpose-driven life is an act of strength and hope. The search for meaning is not a one-time quest with a finish line, but a lifelong journey – a journey that gives direction to every step we take. By taking the time to discover our "why," we empower ourselves to face any "how." The external storms of life – whether global pandemics or personal tragedies – become more bearable when we carry within us a clear sense of why we weather them — every man's "why" will be unique. For one, it may be the love of family; for another, the drive to create; for a third, the calling to serve a higher cause. All are valid. Meaning doesn't have to be grandiose or recognized by society; it is deeply personal. One man's purpose might be raising happy, confident kids; another's might be exploring and explaining life's mysteries through science or art. What matters is that it resonates with you. As we have seen, even the most minor roles, performed with love and intention, can be immensely meaningful. A man tending his garden with care, a grandfather telling stories to his grandchildren, a mentor spending an hour a week with a fatherless teen – these are purpose lived in real time, quiet but powerful.
Modern positive masculinity, as championed by many men's organizations, encourages men to embrace this integrative well-being – to be strong of body, yes, but also open of heart, keen of mind, and nourished in spirit. It's a vision of masculinity where seeking help is a sign of wisdom, where vulnerability is met with respect, and where a man's worth is measured not by what he has but by what he stands for. By cultivating meaning, men reclaim their authentic strength in a balanced, compassionate way. They become men who live with truth and purpose in brotherhood, rising above external forces. In short, they become men who know their why.
As you conclude this read and return to the stream of life, take a moment to look inward. What is one thing that gives your life meaning? Hold onto it, nurture it, and let it guide you. If you are still searching, that's okay – your willingness to seek already sets you on the path. Keep asking the questions and remain open to the answers that emerge in unexpected moments. Life may often feel chaotic and out of control, but we can control how we respond and where we choose to find meaning. With a sense of purpose as your compass, even the toughest challenges can become more bearable and life's journey more rewarding, as each step is connected to a reason for walking. As Viktor Frankl wrote, "Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear almost any 'how'" (Frankl, 2006). May you carry your why like a torch through the darkest nights, and may its light guide you and inspire others on the road toward a life of authenticity, connection, and meaning.
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© Citation:
Pitcher, E. Mark. (2025, November 24). A Purpose-Driven Life: Men's Search for Meaning in a Chaotic World. Beyond Brotherhood. https://www.beyondbrotherhood.ca/post/a-purpose-driven-life-men-s-search-for-meaning-in-a-chaotic-world.
About the Author
Mark Pitcher lives off-grid in a secluded corner of the Canadian Rockies for half the year, drawing inspiration from the land's raw, primal beauty. It's from this deep communion with nature that his vision for Beyond Brotherhood was born. Mark is the visionary founder of Beyond Brotherhood – a wilderness sanctuary where men reconnect with their authentic power and heal from within.
He is involved with men's groups across Canada and beyond, including Wyldmen (wyldmen.com), MDI - Mentor Discover Inspire (mentordiscoverinspire.org), Connect'd Men (connectdmen.com), Illumen of BC (illumanofbc.ca), Man Aligned (manaligned.ca), Sacred Sons (sacredsons.com), UNcivilized Nation (manuncivilized.com/thenation), and Strenuous Life (strenuouslife.co). Through all these efforts, he remains devoted to mentoring males of all ages in holistic well-being—physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual—guiding each to find and live their purpose.
Grounded in compassion, Mark is a strong advocate for male mental health and suicide prevention. Knowing that men comprise 75% of all suicide deaths in Canada, he works tirelessly to break the silence and stigma that keep so many men suffering alone. Mark's approach to healing and growth bridges the ancient and the modern. He draws on Viktor Frankl's logotherapy, which focuses on finding meaning even in adversity. He complements this with Shinrin-Yoku (forest bathing) to immerse men in nature's calming presence, the invigorating shock of cold-water therapy to build resilience, and the ancient art of Qigong to cultivate inner balance and life energy. Now semi-retired, he continues to deepen his knowledge as a part-time student in the Spiritual Care Program at St. Stephen's College (University of Alberta), believing that a true guide never stops learning.
Mark is a leader-guide in every encounter, with a warm authenticity and magnetic presence. Whether penning a blog post or leading a circle of men around a crackling campfire, he leads with gentle strength, compassion, and unshakable passion. Mark invites you to join him on this journey of brotherhood and self-discovery. Follow the blog or connect with the community – every step is an invitation to reclaim your authentic power. With a future book on the horizon, he promises there is even more to explore. This journey is just beginning, and Mark looks forward to walking it together with you, always toward more profound connection and discovery.
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